I Have Been Missing YOU.

I have been thinking of you. I know it seems like I haven't, I teetered and tottered last summer, a post here, a miss there, and then all together I disappeared into the bowels of a renovation that took longer than expected (of course, we expected that...?) and sucked all my energy. But I have been thinking about you, but not quite wanting to delve back into the old blog and not ready to explore something new. Let's be clear here, it's still all about food and parenting that is my life right now, and that I love.

Dave has recently procured a book from the library for me called, The Homemade Pantry by Alana Chernila. I decided to peruse it the other day and found myself completely inspired and feeling the need for a cup of tea, as I felt like her and I were having a really good little visit. I have always wanted to make more of the items that we stock, I always feel a pang of guilt when I open that can of beans or chickpeas and shutter a bit as I watch Harper squeeze out the bought mayonnaise on her fresh tomato sandwich, so this seemed like the perfect challenge and direction for me to start blogging again. Over the next year I am going to try and convert us over to as many homemade things as possible. We did build a whole new kitchen, so I should probably find some good things to do in it.

As for our life here, we still have lots of finishing to do, a basement that is littered with stuff a long with actual piles of cement chunks from when we cut up the floor. The garage is full to the rafters with garbage bags, old doors, sink etc on one side and tools and trim on the other. We are not back to normal, but we like to turn a blind eye and pretend we are, because that's what's working for us right now. We have settled into a routine in the past month of playing all kinds of games with the girls from Farkle and Pass the Pigs to Uno and SkipBo, we never miss a Jets game and on Friday nights we can be found snuggled on the couch together watching Africa (if there's not a Jets game on, of course). Life's good.

Hannah is in her last term of grade one and I am trying to come to terms with the fact that there is no baby left and hasn't been for a long time. She is not a toddler, or preschooler and really not even a "little" anymore. She's loosing teeth and the new ones seems too big but the baby ones seem woefully too small, she is all limbs it seems, her eyes roll at me and some days there is just the hint of attitude and other days I feel like I'm dealing with a thirteen year old. But, through all the awkwardness and attitude that seems to come along with asserting yourself and finding your place, this beautiful, generous soul always seems to shine through and some days she teaches me more than I feel I will ever teach her.

Harper loves school and I fear she is going to be crushed when she realizes that her preschool classes will be done a month before Hannah's. Her and I have become two peas in a pod during the day. We have settled into a routine that at times feels a little bit lazy, but after the past six months I'm alright with that. We normally have a busy morning of "getting stuff done" or preschool for her and a run for me depending on the day, and then we fill our afternoons with lunch and stories and games and puzzles. As Mother Nature has been in a weird funk this year, this has been working for us. Plus, Harper is a really easy going child, as long as I do whatever she wants exactly when she wants me to, so the afternoon gives us both a bit of a break in frustration.

This morning we woke up to about 5cm of snow and it has been coming down all day. Happy Spring? I have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other of trying to deny it to refusing to stick my nose out there if I don't have to, the whole city/province feels the same way. So instead I made this for dinner....

Both of these recipes are from my new favorite source, Alana Chernila who also has a blog you should check out called, Eating From the Ground Up.

This bread recipe is from her book, The Homemade Pantry. What I love about this recipe is that it has to sit in the fridge for at least 24 hours or up to 3 days before you form it into loaves and let it rise. I feel like this just takes the time commitment out of it. Often I can do the first part but am not going to be around for when the rising time is done and they have to go in the oven. I kind of wonder if I can do this with any bread recipe. We loved the texture and denseness of these loaves, but I would really like to try a multi grain bread.

6 1/4 cups whole wheat flour, plus additional for the counter
1 Tbsp kosher salt
5 Tbsp packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1/4 cup canola oil
1 1/4 cups lukewarm water (90F to 100F)
1 1/4 cups lukewarm milk, whole or 2 % (90F to 100F)
1 1/2 Tbsp dry active yeast

Whisk together the flour, salt, and brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer or a large mixing bowl. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and canola oil, then combine the lukewarm water and milk in a separate small bowl, Check the mixture with the thermometer to make sure it's at the right temperature, then whisk in the yeast until it is mostly dissolved. Add both the egg and milk mixtures to the dry ingredients.

If using a mixer, fit it with the paddle attachment and mix on low speed for about 1 minute. Stop the mixer and let the dough sit in the bowl for 5 minutes. Change to the dough hook and mix on medium-low speed for 2 minutes. The dough should be slightly elastic and a bit sticky. If it feels really wet, add 1 or 2 tablespoons of flour, and if it is so hard that your mixer is stressed, add 1 or 2 tablespoons of room temperature water. Continue to mix with the dough hook for another 4 minutes, increasing the speed for the last few seconds. Turn the dough out on a lightly floured counter. If mixing by hand, follow the same timing and texture recommendations as the mixer instructions. Use a large wooden spoon and mix vigorously, making sure to incorporate all of the flour and beat up the dough as you stir.

Knead the dough a few times, then do what Peter Reinhart calls a "stretch and fold" - reach under the front end of the dough, stretch it out then fold it onto the top of the dough. Now, repeat from the back end of the dough, as well on each side. Flip the dough, shape it into a ball, cover with a clean, damp dish towel, and let sit for 10 minutes. Repeat the stretch and fold process, cover, and let it rest for another 10 minutes. Stretch and fold one more time and let it rest for 10 minutes.

Lightly grease a large mixing bowl, place the dough into it, and cover tightly with plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 24 hours, and up to 3 days. Over time, you will probably see bubbles in the dough - this is the fermentation that will give the bread its flavor.

Remove the dough from the refrigerator 3 hours before you bake. Turn it out on a lightly floured counter and divide it into 2 equal pieces. Shape each piece into a sandwich loaf by flattening it out into a rectangle about 5 x 8 inches. Starting with the narrow side of the rectangle, roll it up into a log. Pinch the seam closed and give the log a few rolls on the counter to even it out. Make sure that the shape it fairly regular, and that the ends of the log aren't narrower than the center. Place the logs into two greased 8 1/2 x 4 1/2 inch loaf pans, cover loosely with plastic wrap, and allow to rise at room temperature for 2 to 3 hours, or until the dough is 1 inch above the rim of the pan.

Preheat the over to 350F when the dough looks almost ready to bake. Remove the wrap and bake the loaves in the center of the over the 40 to 50 minutes, turning the pans halfway through baking. They are done when the tops are golden brown and sound hollow when tapped. Turn the pans to release the loaves immediately and let cool on a wire rack for at least 1 hour before cutting.

The lovely, easy, simple soup was from her blog here. Dave came home with a butternut squash about a month ago from a woman he use to work with that has a huge garden from which she benefits all year long, but she confessed she couldn't possibly eat one more squash. It has been on and off the menu every week since, just never quite fitting in. Today when I knew I'd be baking bread and the snow was falling it felt like the perfect opportunity. I did slightly alter the recipe, it's so simple that seems impossible, but she suggests finishing it off with a little milk or cream and really it was so creamy and lovely that there was no need.

Butternut Squash, halved - I used two
4 garlic cloves and 2 sage leaves per half squash that you are using
salt and pepper
olive oil

Preheat the oven to 400F. Half the squash, clean out the seeds into a bowl and then place them face down on a baking tray sliding 4 garlic cloves and 2 sage leaves into each hollow of each half. Bake until soft, about an hour.

Meanwhile clean the seeds, toss with a little olive oil and salt and bake on a pan until they start to pop, about 15 minutes.

When the squash is ready let it cool and then scoop it out into a pot with the garlic and sage and use a submersion blender to mix it up adding water as you go until it is the desired consistency, season with salt and pepper and serve topped with seeds. If your submersion blender has broken and you keep forgetting to buy a new one, like me, do it up in the food processor and then warm it and stir in the water in the pot.

I am hoping that we will be warm and snug with fresh bread and warm soup in our bellies and tomorrow maybe it will stop snowing (and the sun will shine down on you)!!!